FREE AFRICAN PYGMY HEDGHOG WITH ALL ACCESSORIES!*
Looking for a “whatever home” for my pet Hedgehog named Wallace after Wallace Simpson, the American cum-dumpster and Nazi-sympathizer that caused the near breakup of the English Monarchy during world war two.
Wallace is an astoundingly lazy creature that doesn’t seem to have any real defined purpose in life other than to sleep and eat in amidst his own excrement and filth.
He is very unfriendly and although I have been told rodents such as mine are rather cute, I have never actually seen his face as he hisses and spasm every single time I’m within proximity.
Despite his utter uselessness, I have taken good care of him and he comes with a free cage, dishes and pellet style food that he often confuses with his own refuse…
According to Wikipedia, Wallace is very good at Pest eradication, however, he fails to hunt, walk or sometimes breathe for that matter and on more than one occasion, I have assumed that he was dead.
Wallace is neither cuddly or friendly, but he will often bite.
If you’re not looking for a “pet”, Hedgehog meat is actually very good and several popular middle aged recipes call for hedgehog meat exclusively. They are also easy to kill, cook and consume. The blood is also used by Gypsies for alleviating rheumatism and arthritis.
Hedgehogs are easy to keep, but they will undoubtedly fill your house, apartment or condo with their stink, but they are a hypo allergenic pet, however, if one is pricked by the quills of the Hedgehog, they can be prone to massive amounts of infection as the quills are usually filthy in nature.
Another side note is that Hedgehogs are “cloven-hoof” animals and therefor are carries of Foot and Mouth Disease; a highly contagious disease that may be banned in several provinces and municipalities. I recommend checking with your civic board or council.
For those of you looking for a new “pet”, please contact Sean via Email or Phone.
Thank you.
*This was a joke ad written by a friend who hates my hedgehog. But I thought it was funny.
